Born Under Water

Old to me, but new to you all. Still have lots of poetry no one has ever read. Hope you enjoy... Undying passion....a love I've tried to forget but simply can't. Not able to control my heart so I work at the mind until it's mastered. This heart of mine could kill the strongest of man. That's the very reason I ponder on why God decided to burry it within MY chest. Embodying the mental and physical strength so frail and weak so continuously I beg why me. The capacity of love,, the amount of work this heart can do...at times it feels like more than I can bare. And I know even without you there'll be another. Falling in love as soon as eyes are layed upon and I'm so far gone before I can stop myself... Setting myself up in this trap of love,, my heart is damaged before the hurt overtakes it.  Wanting to be loved as strongly as I feel it and knowing it's impossible destroys all hope I create. Trying to change myself to make for more easy living. C

Chapter 3 I laid there on the massage table for a while. My bottom jaw had dropped and I was stuck in shock. My mind was racing with thoughts. Who was this girl? How the fuck did she get in here? What the fuck did I just get myself into? Did that really just happen? Ten minutes or so had passed before I gathered my thoughts and then just like that I was fine. Of course, I wasn't okay with the situation, but something came over me while I was sitting there on that table. I'm not too sure exactly what "it" was, but it was like a numbness. I went from being on the verge of tears to being dangerously calm. I dressed quickly and then headed to the door. I paused as I reached out for the knob, taking a moment to prepare for whatever was to come once I stepped outside of that room. Once I got in the hallway I could hear Donovan and his mystery woman attempting to have a hushed argument. I didn't want them to hear me coming so I crept down the hallway as quietly as I

Chapter 2 Donovan had backed me into a corner, literally. I hadn’t noticed that I started to back away from him until I backed into the dining room table adjacent to his kitchen. He looked down and smiled at me as I stumbled into the table and I couldn’t even blame him. I had gotten so jumpy since he started this awkward conversation and I was acting really nervous.. His eyes continued to gaze into mine, burning with such an intense passion. Donovan had never looked at me like this before but I knew the look well. After all of the time we’ve spent together I had become all too familiar with Donovan’s ways with the ladies. He used the exact same look when he would look at women he was trying to seduce. Not just any women but the women who threw themselves at his feet shamelessly for one night of bliss with a movie star. He would give this particular look full of lust and desire to the women he wanted to lay with him at night. And he knew the power behind his gaze. He was not ignorant

I find it so difficult to accept that even today men are intimidated by strong, powerful, assertive, independent, women. It's disgusting to me that the decisions I make and the lifestyle I choose for myself is constantly scrutinized under a microscope by, usually ain't shit men, just because they feel like they can. They believe that they were born into this patriarchal role that ensures women stay in a woman's place. It's sick if you really take the time to think about it. A bunch of shit face douche bags screaming to the heavens how unpleasant and unappealing today's woman is all because she chooses to assert herself and her space in society. We live in a place where men decide what behavior is acceptable by a woman, nevermind the fact that she is a human being who breathes and bleeds just as he does, but yet there are many ass wipes out there who believes there power lies within the size of their balls. Hence the reason they feel the need to prove how big they r

Today it's hard for me to create and find the right words to type. The second day of the new year brings attention to the fact that aspects of your life don't get left behind just because it's the new year. You don't just forget how were feeling the day before, because technically your issue was a problem in last year. The anxiety travels, the angst from which you suffer follows you around like a newly attached puppy. I have so much I to day due to the billions of thoughts racing through my head but I just can't seem to organize them. I can't process them quickly enough to turn my thoughts into art. Even as I'm typing this now, I'm struggling with finding the right words. I over think, I over process, I over analyze. As I try to sift through my racing thoughts, I try to create, attempting to come up with clever phrases, one that sticks out to an audience and impress them with my impressive skills. The last thought on my mind should be about how my writi

Today marks the first day of the new year. This is the time when you hear all the cliche affirmations and sayings about "starting fresh", "feeling renewed", and proactively making better life choices with everyone's all time favorite, "new year, new me". See me personally, I've never been a big New Year's person even though the celebration aspect of it was always fun and exciting. This year I was feeling a whole different set of emotions, the complete opposite of fun or exciting. Instead I was sad.  It was a strange feeling of sadness, not one that ruined the mood or took away from the day, but the kind of sad that just sits and plucks at your heart strings all day to remind you that it's there when you forget. The whole day I couldn't help but dwell on the things that I felt I was missing, that I still feel like I'm missing. I know it's not good to dwell and that what's meant for me will always be mine, whether we part tem