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Untitled - Poem

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Old to me, but new to you all. Still have lots of poetry no one has ever read. Hope you enjoy...

Undying passion....a love I've tried to forget but simply can't. Not able to control my heart so I work at the mind until it's mastered.
This heart of mine could kill the strongest of man. That's the very reason I ponder on why God decided to burry it within MY chest.
Embodying the mental and physical strength so frail and weak so continuously I beg why me.
The capacity of love,, the amount of work this heart can do...at times it feels like more than I can bare.
And I know even without you there'll be another. Falling in love as soon as eyes are layed upon and I'm so far gone before I can stop myself...
Setting myself up in this trap of love,, my heart is damaged before the hurt overtakes it. 
Wanting to be loved as strongly as I feel it and knowing it's impossible destroys all hope I create.
Trying to change myself to make for more easy living. Cuz the giant heart with all the love to give is torture that I can no longer endure.
So I refuse to play into feelings for the rest of my days upon God's green earth. I'm NOT emotional...they're no longer housed here.
The most beautiful aspect of myself...God's most amazing trait blessed upon man but I refuse to use anymore.
Blocking my desires in order to protect this great heart. Loving but I can't give anymore. 
My gift is my curse. I hate it. I don't want it anymore! The caring,, I don't care for and I just want to walk through life living like the rest of man,, selfish and closed. Not welcoming love as open as I.
No longer caring about the next or the last because I am in first place with myself. Yes I love but no one else matters before I do.
You won't fully love me...your heart won't desire me...you won't need me more than your next breath as long as my mind is weak. 
Naive for thinking all a person needed was love and then you'd have their heart. The painfully clear truth that love isn't enough for the world...so it can no longer be enough for me.

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